Oy. So I've passed my due date (yesterday) and I am agitated. All the adorable doggy snuggles, kisses from hubby and cushy cat naps on the couch have not eased my absolute jumping off the wall excitement of giving birth to the little person inside me. The more thought I have put into natural child birth, the more the idea appeals to me. Putting aside the fairly significant risks of having a needle shoved into my spine (epidural), I am terrified that I will feel like I missed out on something afterwards. If you're a mother, you're probably sitting there shaking your head with your eyes rolling in their sockets and you're thinking I am absolutely delusional. That's fine. I can handle being wrong, even very painfully wrong, but I don't want the regret to plague me afterwards.

My basic comfort level has severely decreased over the last 5 days. I have been partially waddling around because of swollen feet and a baby's head bearing down into my right hip and cervix. Yesterday, while trying to "walk the baby out" in the historical Jamestown settlement, my hands swelled up. I'm talking puffy dragon swelling, so much so that I was afraid they may have to saw off my wedding rings... Thank God I got a gorgeous pedicure recently, I don't think I'd be able to look at my feet otherwise. Oh, and my bed. Honestly, the more pregnant I've become, the more uncomfortable my bed has become. Sleep has been a trying experience. Waking up at 5 a.m. to go to the bathroom isn't a big deal, but it is when you can't go back to sleep afterwards.

Luckily my father-in-law couldn't sleep either and we met each downstairs this morning. After easing the growling hunger pains in my gut I dressed myself. I haven't worn my tennis shoes in ... 6 months? Socks? Almost impossible to put on by myself. We walked out to the water and admired the large ships cruising by us. As the refreshing breeze swept away the last of the sandman, I felt incredibly grateful to live where I do. I feel like a washed up fish when I don't live by water, and here I am, only a couple of minutes away before I see the horizon stretched over endless blue water. In some respects it's even more beautiful than the Mediterranean because here I have the benefits of familiarity and homey comforts. We walked along the seawall and stopped to watch a tiny tug boat drag a barge through the choppy waves. We stayed there a long while talking. I haven't spent much time alone with my FIL and it was wonderful to delve into more personal one-on-one conversation with him.

I want to clean my house, because that's what I do when I get bored, but I know I will wear myself and my back out doing it. I'm tired of TV, of the internet, of staring with a longing gaze into the empty crib... I should probably start a new knitting project, it's a guaranteed and much needed distraction. Which reminds me, I still have a few photos of FOs to post soon. I've already tried photographing the baby sweaters several times to no satisfaction of mine. They just don't come out right on photos.

Comments (0)