Really. Is it? I'm starting to think that's possible. It seems like whenever I say that my yarn stash is outgrowing its storage area, I add to it. Wonderful yarny friends who go with flashlights into storage units diving for yarn, local sales and sidewalk sales really make my resolution to limit my yarn purchases a difficult resolution to keep. Noro at 50% off? How can anyone who loves Noro say no to that?! My husband, the Enabler, is also no longer helpful in limiting my yarn purchases.

I've been reading some of the forum threads on Ravelry recently and came across a few that tackled the stash issue. It never occurred to me that my stash might actually have to be in my will. I'm hoping that the stash that does outlive me is smaller than it will realistically be in who knows how many years. My husband asked me about my stash the other day and like a person with something to hide, I smirked and shrugged when he asked about how many balls of yarn I have and what I thought it might be worth. In comparison to many, many fiber-lovers out there, I think my stash is quite containable. I have tried and tried to set limits - ie. whenever this is full, I have to use up some yarn before I add more. YEAH RIGHT! You know exactly what I'm talking about, too. Knitting, for me, is based on my mood. I might have enough yarn for 30 or so projects, but if I'm not in the mood to knit that right now, then the yarn is parked for now.

I had good intentions with my New Year's Resolution to stash bust. And that's where it ended. Once I broke the seal on that one my stash has been steadily growing much faster than I can knit, which is kind of a "duh" statement for any knitter. I think I'm making up for lost stash-adding time, I'm going to try to stop buying yarn again because I'm a little stressed out about it. We're not going broke over string, but I've seriously run out of room for my yarn in our small house and I'm afraid that if I keep adding yarn with planned projects that I'm going to crack and starting casting on for every single one them and never finish anything. I just re-read this paragraph and it makes me sound like an addict. Me? No. Never. Is there KA (Knitters Anonymous) group out there yet?

I'm all about the end result: getting it done and using/wearing it. That's why I don't like to have too many projects on the needles. When I start a new project I am usually kind of sad because I know it's going to take awhile to finish (a few weeks, a few months) and I thrive on instant gratification. The first few inches of anything take every ounce of ambition to get through until I hit the half way mark, then I'm roaring to go and excited about my project knowing the end is near. I almost never procrastinate on finishing a piece, be it sewing or weaving in ends. To me, it's the cherry on the top, seeing something finally fully come together. I wonder what that says about my personality and how I live my life in general. Maybe it will mean that I'll go out with a bang, my cherry in place.

I heart yarn. Good night!
I was just enjoying a late night sit outside. A thought crossed my mind. I thought about burning/deleting all of my journals, written and digital. I'm not sure why I even thought of it, to be honest. Since I was very little and started journaling, my diaries have held a sacred place in my life. I'm a person who likes to hold onto things - people, memories, well-liked possessions.

The written account of my life has followed me through the years. My books have traveled with me through many moves, from various homes in Michigan to multiple apartments in Germany, even farther away to Turkey, and now back in the States, to Virginia. Once a year or so I'll page through some of the books. They are filled with all different kinds of handwriting, colored inks and many were gifts from close friends and family. Some of my journals are filled with boring details of who-what-whens, many entries are about who I was doting on at the time, other writings are painful, dark and downright depressing.

I have written about first loves, first lovemaking, fears, abuse, drugs, crimes, my walk with the Creator, friends and family, travels, poetry, simple happiness, pregnancy, books that have touched me, disappointment, confusion, revelations, deep depression, hopelessness: the good, the bad and the ugly. Unfortunately, the bad and the ugly are dominant themes in too many of my entries. When I do read back, I'm left with the lingering feeling of the past's darkness. And that feeling is sometimes hard to shake.

There are times, like tonight, when I question my motives about holding onto my journals. Although my life has been interesting to me, that doesn't mean I would ever want to expose it to the public by having it published. Most of the time I don't really enjoy reading about my past. Even though I love and trust my husband very much, I would never feel comfortable having him read in explicit description the details of my life prior to our marriage. In a way, it's the only thing or part of myself that I don't share with him. I think it's okay to have something that is just mine in a way, but there's also a part of me that feels like it's something that I passively hide from him. A lot of what I wrote is embarrassing even to me. The writing was often immature and superficial, mundane, and sometimes... sometimes just not really me. Some of the things that I have written about make me want certain individuals in my life again that shouldn't ever be in my life again. Some entries make me remember certain painful experiences and I relive the pain, neglect and hate that I once felt. These are not positive things. And for me, these feelings are especially unhealthy because I have worked so hard to expunge them from my heart and mind.

So again, why am I holding onto them? The only real purpose that my journals have served up until now is to remind me that things are not always as they are remembered and that I've come a long way from being the person I was and have a long way to being the person I will or want to be. Rereading that last sentence is maybe my answer. Maybe I just need a reminder so that I will remember what to never be again.

I don't know, I'm not ready to destroy them yet, but I think there might come a day when I will be ready.
In 19 hours my son was born one year ago. He was born to me, his father and in the presence of his grandparents. It was the best day that the four of us got to spend as "five". From the moment I knew his precious life was growing deep inside of my body I loved him with a love I didn't know I had the capacity to experience. Fierce protection, incredible wonder at the creation of a new little human being, undying joy unspeakable..

In the middle of the night my labor pains woke me and my life has been dramatically changed since. I would do it all again without blinking. I would endure every moment of disgusting morning sickness, every hormonal mood swing, every stretch mark, every personal sacrifice, every uncomfortable prick of the needle, endless swollen ankles, sausage fingers, sleepless nights, hellish back labor and contractions, every tear, every drop of blood, every day of miserable teething, every diaper change, every step not seen over the belly... I would do it all again knowing I would have my precious son in my life at the end of it all.

This last year has been full of household changes, changes in priorities, changes in schedules, changes in habits, first smiles, first punches at toys, first kicks, first words, first tears, first tiny fists clutching my fingers, first kisses, first cuddles, first bites of food, first teeth, first steps, first falls and endless other joys that will forever be bright, shining little lights of wonderful memories.

Happy Birthday, Lucas! I can't wait to wake up to my birthday boy and to bake him a yummy first birthday cake! I hope your day is half as good as mine ;)
I finished this awhile ago and just now got the chance to have my husband snap a few photos in natural light!

Knitted in Araucania Ranco Multi. It's a modified version of this. That's all I have to post about it right, we have a lot to do today so I have to jet! :)

I haven't figured out a suitable name for this finished object, or if it even needs one...

I knitted this up from my own pattern. After I figured out my measurements, my gauge and the stretchiness of the knitted fabric the pattern went fairly quickly. I did end up re-doing several parts more than once to get it just right. Noro Taiyo knits up really fast and I love the colorways.

Even though all the seams are seamed and the ends woven in, there are still a few minor things I'll change the next time that I knit this. But then again, I'm never 100% satisfied with anything I make - knitted, crafted, cooked or otherwise.

All in all, I love this shirt. I'm going to wear it frequently. I worked on it off and on for about a month, first knitting it into the Tank Girl pattern from Knitty (twice, both times too big) and then deciding to forgo any kind of written pattern and to wing it. I'm better at winging something than tweaking it. Luckily, I documented everything I did, so I hope to have a pattern written up soon. Kristy already has a healthy amount of Taiyo in her stash and volunteered to give the pattern a test run.

In this pattern I incorporated stockinette stitch, ribbing, garter stitch, picking up stitches, mattress stitch seams, three-needle binding off, bust and waist shaping and a bust panel to literally pull everything together and add modesty and interest to the front of what is just a really basic tank top. Wow, I hope I don't speak in run-on sentences like that!

Some things I loved about working with the Taiyo - its softness first and foremost. It's composed of 40% cotton, 30% silk, 15% nylon and 15% wool. It's nice and springy. It knits up quickly because it's aran weight - though, for me it feels like a light bulky weight. I read through the comments about this yarn on Ravelry and heard a lot of people complaining (mostly from old batches) about the yarn pulling apart and breaking. I didn't have a single break. Even knitting very tight kfb increases and some vigorous seam tugging, the yarn stayed strong.

I would have liked working with the yarn more if it wasn't so full of plant matter and thorns. I know that Noro is infamous for this and it's to be expected, I just felt like this yarn had really quite a lot. Even while wearing it I was still picking out pieces of neon green twigs that I'd missed. Another thing that Noro is infamous for - knots. I had two in three balls. Not bad, but still...